Ask the Expert: How Should a Parent Respond When a Child wants to Quit his Sports Team?

Sometimes kids outgrow a sport, and that's okay. We asked the owner of Soccer by Coach Fher how to navigate the transition if your athlete decides they want to quit the team.

How should a parent respond when a child wants to quit his school sports team midseason?

The most important thing to do is talk to your child with an open mind and assesses the situation by attending a few practices and games. The parent can benefit from watching as a spectator and noticing the behaviors their children exhibit while participating in their sport. It’s important that children have fun while they play their sport, and they shouldn’t feel judged or pressured to continue the sport if their heart isn’t in it.

Parents should ask what is going on in the child’s head, and why they’ve decided they’d rather not pursue the sport anymore. It could be because the child feels he’s either receiving too much attention on the team and does not want to feel that pressure, or that he’s not receiving enough attention and wants to focus on a place where he can excel more. He might also feel that he’s not being engaged with the coaches or cannot reach the level of the other children. Children tend to see other kids as better, so sometimes they’d rather not make the effort or practice to reach the skill of other people, or even compete at their own level, fearing it’s a demotion. 

If your child feels he isn’t a strong enough athlete, additional practice is a great way to help him feel stronger in his own capabilities. Coaches are often more than happy to help both parents and children work through any specific situation, whether it’s mastering basic drills for the sport or more specialized assistance to elevate the child to the level of athleticism his peers possess. They can provide extra practice sessions and work both on a one-on-one level and within a team environment. Kids will always feel differently in games than they will in practice, so having a team environment helps make a game feel less intimidating as they’ve built up team camaraderie, and it it’s a good way to build kids’ confidence.