What to Do When Your Child Says, 'I Hate School!'

   Yvette comes home from school, slams down her backpack and runs into her room. She's facedown on the bed sobbing into her rock star pillow, and you make out a few words: "...friend," "...too much," and "I hate school." The scenario is likely familiar; just about every parent will hear their child bemoan homework, tests, friend problems, and more at some point. Some issues may resolve themselves as the school year progresses, but parents still need to know how to cope with those "I hate school blues."

   The first step is affirmation. Remember to acknowledge your child's feelings. Let him know it's OK to feel what he feels. Then get to the heart of what is bothering him. "Parents should always send the message that they care, and they're interested," says Christian Belissimo, M.S.W., L.C.S.W., R.P.T., an expert in child psychology and play therapy. He and several other educational and consultative professionals share their insights on how parents can be supportive while striving to resolve common school dilemmas:

My teacher is unfair. He/she plays favorites.

   Belissimo underscores the importance of maintaining open communication with your child's teacher. Attend that conference, no matter where the school is or how crammed your schedule may be. Meeting with the teacher will help you evaluate the situation and separate myth from reality.

   If your child feels he is being singled out, don't disregard it. See it as a problem that needs to be resolved and let your child build accountability while doing so. You should also tell your child that teachers are people, after all, and people can have a bad day. Be sure to stress the upside of a tough teacher - he/she is challenging you and wants to see you reach your full potential.

They give me too much homework/projects/book reports.

   Do the research. Your child's assignments may be reasonable, but he might be having trouble scheduling them. Maybe he's spending too much time on Facebook or Wii before getting down to business. Setting boundaries is crucial. And don't forget to praise him once he does complete the assignments.

   Bonnie, a New York City elementary school teacher, offered additional advice for parents. "The homework I give my kids is a repeat of what we were learning in class," she notes. "So if your child thinks it's too difficult, he probably didn't grasp the lesson." Parents should alert their child's teacher (by sending in a note or via e-mail) that their child is having trouble. Bonnie also reminds parents that teachers use homework and long-term projects to encourage children to become independent learners.