Get Family Activities Sent to You Weekly!

New Study Shows Emotional Suppression has Negative Outcomes on Children

New Study Shows Emotional Suppression has Negative Outcomes on Children

Often parents stick to the plea "not in front of the kids" to avoid showing strong negative emotions around their children, but new research shows that it’s better to show them in a healthy way.


Various studies show that kids are good at picking up "emotional residue" from their parents, according to Sara Waters, Ph.D., assistant professor in the department of human development at Washington State University. Because kids are good at picking up subtle cues from emotions, if they feel something negative has happened but parents are acting normal and not addressing it, they get confused from the two conflicting messages being sent, says Dr. Waters. Rather than suppressing emotions in front of your children, a study published in the journal Emotion by Dr. Waters and co-authors from the University of California, Berkley and the University of California, San Francisco, suggests that the best course of action is to let kids see a healthy conflict, from start to resolution, which will benefit their long-term emotional intelligence.

"We wanted to look at how we suppress emotions and how that changes the way parents and kids interact," said Dr. Waters, who oversaw and co-authored the findings of the study. "Kids pick up on suppression, but it's something a lot of parents think is a good idea to do.

The study observed 109 mothers and fathers with their children in San Francisco. First, the researchers gave the parents a stressful task: to speak publicly with negative feedback from the audience. Parents were then given an activity to complete with their children, with some randomly told to suppress their emotions while others were told to act naturally. All parent-child pairs had to work together to assemble a Lego project. Kids ages 7-11 were given instructions and had to direct their parents without touching the Legos.



“We were interested in behaviors,” Dr. Waters said. ”We looked at responsiveness, warmth, quality of interactions, how the parent provided guidance for the child.”

Dr. Waters and her co-authors had a team of undergraduate research assistants watch all 109 videos of the interactions to mark every instance of warmth, guidance, and other emotions. Both the parent and child were hooked up to a variety of sensors to measure things like heart rate and stress level, which was combined with the data of the research assistants.

“The act of trying to suppress their stress made parents less positive partners during the Lego task,” Dr. Waters said. “They offered less guidance and those kids were less responsive to their parents. It’s almost like the parents were transmitting those emotions.”

Dr. Waters suggests to let kids see the whole trajectory of a conflict. “That helps kids learn to regulate their own emotions and solve problems. They see that problems can get resolved,” she said. “It’s best to let the kid know you feel angry, and tell them what you’re doing to do about it to make a situation better.”

Next time you find yourself in a conflict in front of your kids, remember the importance of teaching conflict resolution. Learning these skills young will help children learn to express their emotions in healthy ways and benefit their overall character development.


Want more content like this?


More Parenting Articles:

10 Checklists to Simplify the Lives of Rockland Parents

The responsibilities of a parent are endless, between planning for summer camp, preparing for school, choosing your family pediatrician, planning the ...


Latest News:

Parents Call on MTA to Remove Open-Stroller Ban on NYC Buses

New York City parents are advocating to change the open-stroller ban on NYC buses.


Family Activities:



Have a Laugh:

Best Memes of the Week for Parents

Here are the funniest parenting memes from Instagram, Facebook, and Reddit this week.
Megan Vasquez

Author: Megan Vasquez, a junior at New York University pursuing a Bachelor’s degree in Media, Culture and Communication, is a fall 2018 editorial intern at NYMetroParents. You can find her at the dog park with her chihuahua, making your favorite drinks as a Starbucks barista, or camping along the east coast. See More

Featured Listings:

Otto Specht School

Otto Specht School

Chestnut Ridge , NY At the Otto Specht School, we work to discover each child's path to lifelong learning, offering a variety of educational programs designed to meet the...

WhizKidz Tutoring LLC

WhizKidz Tutoring LLC

We provide expert tutoring in your Rockland or Bergen County home to fit your family’s busy schedule. Pre-K through College Prep, all subjects. Our tu...

Sky Zone Allendale

Sky Zone Allendale

Allendale, NJ Sky Zone is the world’s first indoor trampoline park. We’re the inventors of “fun fitness” and the makers of trampolines as far as the eye can see. We...

Palisades Climb Adventure

Palisades Climb Adventure

West Nyack, NY Get ready to experience the World’s tallest indoor ropes course standing 85 feet tall. Palisades Climb Adventure combines the thrill of challenge with...