Get the Best Winter Activities
Communication between family and school is key Michael Nicodemo, a fourth-grade teacher at P.S. 128 in Rosedale, Queens, says he hasn’t received a single phone call from a parent about homework since he began teaching two-and-a-half years ago. "I1ve received a couple of notes from parents saying they sat with their child while he struggled with a math assignment and asking me to explain how I taught the lesson so they can better help," says Nicodemo. "I wish I got those notes on a regular basis." Sometimes parents don’t speak up because they1re concerned about how they will be perceived, Schwartz says. "Some parents are confused about the difference between being an advocate and being a pain in the neck." She suggests that parents start keeping a diary if they think that homework overload is an ongoing problem. Writing down how often a problem occurs can give a parent a good timeline of behaviors and consequences. "You can then go to the teacher and say, ‘Every single Thursday night this happens.’ This is not a complaint anymore. This is informative." Sometimes, however, parents just don’t have the time — time to call a teacher, or even time to check in with their child about homework. "Parents work crazy hours and aren1t always home when the child is doing homework," says Nicodemo, himself the parent of a fifth- and an eighth-grader. "It1s hard for many working parents to find time to actually sit with their child," Nicodemo concedes, but every parent should find some time every few days to at least "randomly check to see what it is their child is working on at school and what they have to do at home." Smith notes that "communication is no simple thing between a parent and a teacher these days...Parents lead busy lives; teachers lead busy lives." It may be difficult for a parent to actually make contact with a teacher. To add to this impediment, "there are indeed parents who lay back a little and kind of grumble about it. But parents have a right to understand the policy and be part of their kids’ learning team, and parents don’t use communication with the school as much as they could or should...especially as kids move up through the grades." Keeping everything in balance is the key, says Ruskin-Mayher. "Individual kids have different tolerances, different needs, different strengths, different weaknesses, and the best thing that a parent can do is really know their child." If a child is not doing well in school, a parent should consider what else is going on in that child1s life that may be interfering with his or her focus on schoolwork.
Parents need their voices heard Parents who are concerned about their child’s development should seek assistance, says Schwartz. The first person parents should turn to is the guidance counselor or school psychologist. If they feel "they’re not getting what they need at school," Schwartz adds, they should seek outside support. The NYU Child Study Center (www.aboutourkids.org) is one such resource, providing a variety of services for children — including those with learning disabilities, attention deficits, anxiety/depression, and mood disorders. Parents who think their children are not getting enough homework or need additional academic challenges should speak with a teacher or guidance counselor about enrichment activities, Smith suggests. "Talk to the school and get some ideas for some ways to supplement it if it doesn’t seem like enough. But really, communication first." Parents know their kids better than anyone else, Meier says, and "They need to make their voices heard a lot more regarding school reform." Teachers need to speak up, too. "If parents and teachers were in a real alliance, they would think of things, based on their expertise, they might be doing. But that would take a lot of time and we don1t provide a lot of time for parents and teachers to spend together. They need to find the courage to say, ‘This is about us and our kids, and no voice is more important or more central to the debate about the future of schooling than ours.’"
